Carolyn Hax does an advice column in the Post, which I read. (What can I say, I used to read Ann Landers and Dear Abby.)
She answered a letter from someone worrying about the cost of a bar mitzvah. They'd budgeted $10,000 for it, but the husband's parents wanted to go higher--$40K IIRC. The in-laws threatened to boycott if they didn't get their way. Husband told his parents that was their choice.
Hax applauded the answer.
As a (former) country boy I was stunned. Who is willing to pay $10K for what I understand to be an elaborate birthday party/baptism celebration? Better to invest the money for college.
Then, I'm a geezer.